دار محمد Daar Muhammed

June 20, 2023
Man and woman were placed on earth with specific roles that work in a seamless co-operative way. They were not placed here to compete with each other but instead, to find peace and satisfaction fulfilling their own unique roles.

What is promoted today in many a public discourse, whatever the subject area maybe, is confused gender roles and subsequent gender wars. A twisted portrayal of what man and woman should be. It’s a conflict, they say, and everyone needs to be on a mission to bring the traditions down. The voices are strong but the end goals are weak. Our youth, almost subconsciously, are pushed into this confusion. It is sad to see Muslims being sucked into this unnatural idea.

In Islam, the truth is explained in a simple way. There is no overriding of each gender over the other and responsibility is placed perfectly. There is a hierarchy that Allah has placed that secures all members of society meeting them where they are. It is easy and clear to understand and something that children need to be aware of. It is a system stipulated by the Creator that if opposed, can lead to disarray in society as we can witness today.

This hierarchy prevent unnatural power struggles, preserves the weaker members of society and makes for an organized life for its members. After all, it the only natural way to live. Every other arrangement is doomed to become conflicting with human nature.

الرِّجَالُ قَوَّامُونَ عَلَى النِّسَاءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ اللَّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَىٰ بَعْضٍ وَبِمَا أَنفَقُوا مِنْ أَمْوَالِهِمْ ۚ
Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means.
(Suratun Nisa:34)

Children need to understand that;
• This structure is what is aligned with nature (fitrah)
• Fulfilling the roles given to us by Allah makes for a wholesome life
• Higher the position in the hierarchy, bigger the responsibility

When the positions are misused, consequences are inevitable
If there is abuse or misuse in any part of this structure, it will affect society as a whole and there will be consequences for the individual committing this abuse. This is because no one can escape Allah’s Recompense, be it in this world or the next.

Abdullah ibn Umar reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Every one of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. The leader of people is a guardian and is responsible for his subjects. A man is the guardian of his family and he is responsible for them. A woman is the guardian of her husband’s home and his children and she is responsible for them. The servant of a man is a guardian of the property of his master and he is responsible for it. No doubt, every one of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock.”
Source: Sahih al-Bukhārī 7138, Sahih Muslim 1829

Submission and Compliance for Allah’s Sake Alone
Through their day children need to be shown and pointed towards this structure so that the natural way of life is instilled in their minds as a strong base for their future opinions. This is to protect the soundness of their minds. They need to be shown the unnecessariness of the constant power struggles we see around us in the world today. They need to be shown their rights and demonstrated how to fight for them with Islam as their criterion. Because then, they cannot go wrong.

Next and equally importantly, children need to be shown the solutions from the Quran and Sunnah to the ills and oppressions they witness happening to themselves or their loved ones. Even though the Quran and Sunnah explain gender roles and mutual respect with so much clarity, there will still be incidents of misuse of power, negligence and oppression. What makes some Muslims “snap” and become impatient and look for “solutions” in places other than what Islam offers is often their incomplete understanding of their religion or their impatience to walk, in times of distress, on the Path of Hidayah (correct guidance). This is evident in many cases of conflict in gender roles.

Ultimately, it needs to be made clear to children that, we comply with anything only for His Sake. If Allah is not the reason for it, it is not worthy of our attention or submission. Never was it and in sha Allah will never be for another human being. So our submission to Allah’s Laws are not dependent on anyone else’s grace or validation. In case of abuse of power or ill doing, there cannot be anything that will provide us with the clarity we need to navigate through the issues at hand like the same Laws of Allah. Holding fast to His Rope will guarantee us salvation, in this world and in the next.