دار محمد Daar Muhammed

Being involved in a legal case as a Muslim woman in a country where Muslims are a minority can be an extremely isolating experience. Whether the case involves marital law or children’s rights, it can pull you into a dark place if you do not approach it with the right mindset.

However, I want to be clear: this is not the experience of every Muslim woman. In many cases, families and communities are supportive and protective. This article is not about those situations.

This piece is for a specific niche: for the woman who is not only facing legal conflict, but who has also experienced abuse within her marriage and feels abandoned, silenced, or unsupported by her own community. It is for the woman who finds herself fighting on multiple fronts at once.

If that is not your story, then this may not fully resonate with you. But if it is, then you know exactly the kind of isolation being described.

And when that is the case, it can feel like standing in a pit surrounded by crocodiles. Waiting to gnaw at you and tear at your flesh. Some crocodiles come from within your own circle; from abuse, mistreatment, and the failure of those who were supposed to uphold their responsibilities.

Other crocodiles come from outside your community; people who subtly place the blame on you, suggesting that your situation exists simply because you chose to follow your Religion, your Deen: Islam. They look at you without mercy, holding you responsible solely for being a Muslim woman.

If you fall for the narrative of either group of crocodiles, if you allow yourself to be manipulated or overly affected by the cruelty of these crocodiles, you will find yourself in an extremely difficult position. Isolating, very, deeply isolating.

There is no way to reconcile; reconciliation here is not your answer. The first step is clear: turn to Allah. Seek His guidance sincerely. Anchor yourself in Him, and you will find support and clarity coming from directions you never expected.

Holding Fast

When you are blamed for your situation simply because of your devotion to Allah’s Religion; a faith you love and know in your soul is the very thing that saved you, this is the moment to turn the trial into growth by taking the opportunity to deepen your understanding of your Deen and strengthen your connection to it. Take it a step further.

As you learn and ground yourself more firmly in your faith, the picture in your mind slowly begins to transform. Things start to take a new meaning. And your situation gradually takes on a renewed purpose. You do not need to force things at this point. Your concern is not to fully see the picture but to navigate your circumstances in a way that brings you closer to Allah than ever before.

When you do this, you succeed against the shayateen both those within and those outside. That is true success. Not everyone receives this opportunity, but you have. And you have seized it at the right time in the right way.

Also remember the words of the Prophet (sal): إن عظم الجزاء مع عظم البلاء; the greater the affliction, the greater the reward from Allah. If you face two crocodiles instead of one, your reward may be doubled, or even more, for He is Al Kareem; the Most Generous.

Return to Him in every moment of weakness, in every moment you feel like failing, and in every moment the shayateen whisper to you. Returning to Allah is the first and most important step.

After that, there are practical steps that can make a real difference. One of the most important is setting boundaries.

When you experienced abuse, you did not know better. You were not skilled in manipulation as they were. That is understandable. But now, you must establish boundaries; not just with the abuser, but with all those who enabled the abuse. This includes anyone who watched, approved verbally, or understood the harm and did nothing. Boundaries here are key. What are they allowed to dictate to you? What are they not? The moment you set these boundaries is a moment of clarity, one more added to your journey.

The same principle applies to your lawyers. Most courts require legal representation, especially as cases progress. Establish mental guidelines for who is going to represent you. Your lawyers are there to support you from wherever they find you. If you are a devout Muslimah, your lawyer must fight your case in line with your values, protecting both your rights and your Faith.

Keep this in mind: your lawyers need to win the case for you. Communicate your expectations clearly from the beginning and observe how they handle your case. How do they react when it gets hard? Do they own up when it’s their responsibility? Do they work as a team, or are they simply looking to add to their name? Seek your lawyers intentionally. Do not just accept whoever comes your way or just whoever is recommended to you.

You may also have noticed that, throughout the abuse and even after, you are largely alone. Accept this reality. Become comfortable with it. Support from people may be limited, so you need to find your own footing, especially if you are fighting for your rights and your children’s rights. Support from people is limited, especially when it comes to the darker, more disturbing details of your case. High-conflict cases involving repeated abuse often overwhelm the ordinary person. They become numb. And with that numbness also comes fear. Not everyone has the capacity. But you, you have been chosen for this. So tread and tread well and strong. Alone in the realm if insan, perhaps. But always in the Sight of Allah. Accompanied by the angels in every step.

Your journey through legal battles as a Muslim woman may feel like walking among crocodiles; both internal and external threats testing your faith, strength, and resolve. But every trial is an opportunity: to deepen your understanding of your Deen, strengthen your connection to Allah, set boundaries, pave your path, and protect your children.

Only A Chapter

Success is not simply winning a worldly case; it is to win in Allah’s Court in the Hereafter. As important as winning your case here is, ultimate success is navigating the trial without compromising your iman or dignity. By returning to Allah, establishing clear boundaries, choosing allies wisely, taking practical steps for your well-being, and being patient, you rise above the shayateen both within and outside. You have then won.

Remember: إن عظم الجزاء مع عظم البلاء; the greater the trial, the greater the reward. Try to look beyond the cold courtroom, the hateful glances, and the flying accusations. Also, remember: this is only one step. One piece of the puzzle. One small area of a much larger picture. And it will pass. Even if it lasts nearly a decade, as it has for some of us, it is still only a fragment of your entire story. Do not allow it to define you. Do not allow it to determine your whole narrative. It is just a chapter, and there is so much more ahead.

Use it to your advantage. Let it elevate you in Allah’s Sight. Let it give you a step ahead — a momentum that catapults you toward higher ranks in Allah’s Gardens. This life is temporary, and the Hereafter is forever. So face it, endure it, and grapple with it like a believer.

Do not move through this trial only by crying, feeling sad, or remaining trapped in anger and rumination, whether in your inner voice or in conversation with others. Instead, invest every moment of sadness and grief into the hereafter. Then, you would have fulfilled the purpose of this test very well. May the Pleasure of Allah embrace you.

Photos by Tolga deniz Aran