13. We narrate unto you (O Muhammad ) their story with truth: Truly! They were young men who believed in their Lord (Allah), and We increased them in guidance.
14. And We made their hearts firm and strong (with the light of Faith in Allah and bestowed upon them patience to bear the separation of their kith and kin and dwellings, etc.) when they stood up and said: “Our Lord is the Lord of the heavens and the earth, never shall we call upon any ilah (god) other than Him; if we did, we should indeed have uttered an enormity in disbelief.
Al Kahf:13-14
Life is simply “one day for me, the next against me.” Difficult times and adversities are a part of life’s nature, just as good times and joyful moments are. This is true till there comes the end of our time here in this world and the time to move on to the eternal world; the Akhirah. This life is a field of opportunity. Thus, everyone has a share of the good and a share of pain, both of which are tests. How we choose to tackle each will determine our results in the future life of the eternal next world. If we did well in this life, we could secure a place besides Allah, Most Merciful. Allah is merciful. He is watching and observing. He only gives what one can bear. There is Justice, and nothing escapes Him. If this truth is not communicated to the child for him to relate real life to it early on, manageable moments are going to turn “unmanageable” and “unbearable” really fast. Understanding the nature of life cultivates a ready attitude in children to face life as it comes and to not blow its events out of proportion. Deep inside of them will be the awareness that come what may, they will never stand alone.
Understanding the nature of life supports children in pivoting their efforts to get to better outcomes when things don’t work out and to stand ground when Quranic values are challenged, making them even remind the adults around them of patience, prayer and measured responses. This attitude is an asset that will help them throughout life, in times you are present to help them back on their feet and when you are not.
Difficult times and adversities are a part of life’s nature just as good times and joyful moments are.
Clarify and Explain the Bigger Picture
The simple truth behind adversities in the life of a believer need to be explained to the child in a clear and concise manner. An ideal framework to communicate this essential life skill to the child would be:
There is more than what meets the eye to the happenings in life. In the case of a sincere believer, everything that happens to him is khair. The Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم ; “How wonderful is the matter of the believer! All of his matters are khair (good) for him.” The believer responds to good and seemingly “bad” in a way that pleases Allah. So inevitably, it turns out all good for you at the end.
Following from the first point, the purpose behind why what is happening to you is bigger and greater. Always. So look for the straight path and follow it. Make choices based on Iman and follow them with conviction. Adversities are not to oppress you but to refine your fitrah (natural good disposition), to purify your soul and gently push you towards spiritual growth. Ultimately, it is to establish your faith and give you the best. Allah knows what is in your heart, but it is His Way to establish truths, not just in your case but in all affairs of the universe. So your response, my precious one, needs to be: What is Allah telling me? What does He want to me to do? Or to change? From the point I am at, which is the best way forward?
Do people think that they will be left alone because they say: “We believe,” and will not be tested. And We indeed tested those who were before them. And Allah will certainly make (it) known (the truth of) those who are true, and will certainly make (it) known (the falsehood of) those who are liars, (although Allah knows all that before putting them to test).
Al Ankabut:3-4
It is important to note that this point may take repeated discussions for a small heart to grasp a clear picture of and start applying it in his own life. The more he relates what you say to his own real-life situations, the more stable his perception becomes. You need to allow him the time he needs, and he will get there in sha Allah. These are deep concepts; they are for life and not for a temporary time, so to be retained and maintained by a child, they deserve enough time to be thought over and received gradually so that they can consolidate. Stories are an effective way of helping children connect and relate. Referring back to stories from the Quran and Hadeeth to illustrate what you are saying helps greatly because these stories make the heart stronger and have a deep effect on children.
[Musa (Moses)] said: “Nay, verily! With me is my Lord, He will guide me.”
As Shuara:62
Enhancing a child’s understanding of the meaning of life gives him context to the suffering he may witness or hear about in the world, provides what he needs to clarify his thoughts and the directions to use what he has to bounce back after any tremour. It brings him closer to the purpose of life; Allah. It confirms to the child that in any situation, he is not alone. Allah is by his side. It also clarifies to him that him being blessed with life as a believer in its Creator means that any issue he faces in it, however small, is significant to His Creator and that nothing happens in vain. His difficulty or mishap has a solid place in the course of the universe. It matters, and it has a purpose. This is a journey, and his affairs, all of them, have a Maula (Guardian, Protector), watching over them and guiding him through his every step. Knowing that his striving and patience will not be in vain kindles hope and reassurance in a little believing heart.
Modelling an Example
What we say has little impact if we don’t stand for it ourselves. Actions speak louder than words, and children are keen observers before following suit. Use the opportunities of daily events to model to the child how they need to respond if the same event or a similar one was to happen again. For example, there was something you were eagerly waiting for that your child knew about, but it does not turn up, so you say: “Oh, it did not work out. I have been waiting for it for a long time, but you know, I know Allah has better plans for me. Maybe He wants something better for me. Maybe He saved me from some harm I did not see. “If you try out something new like a recipe but the results did not turn out well, say so that your child can hear: “Oh, it failed. I wonder where I went wrong. I am going to revise all that I did. Maybe Allah wants me to learn something extra in the process.” A particularly good time is while you sit by them before they fall asleep. Review the day and discuss openly anything that needs to be improved, from your side or theirs, or both of yours together. Give them a feeling of calmness in their faith amidst the rush of life.
Even if adversity is something seemingly “meaningless” in a materialistic world, being explained that this life is a temporary test for the eternal life will help the child understand the higher order of things and events he witnesses or comes to know of. It will grow his trust in Allah’s Ultimate Plan more than his own. He will moreover learn to, after exerting his efforts in his pursuits and doing his part, to trust his affairs to his Lord. This makes his life an enlightened experience and his noble goals to become even stronger. Far-sightedness will become second nature. Whenever what challenges him strikes, he will, in an almost reflexive manner, think this is Allah’s Plan and Blessings in disguise. Let me see how I can use the opportunity to benefit me in this world and in the next. What a win that will be, Mama.
The child is still building perception in most things, unlike adults. Meanwhile, there is so much happening in his world, so much more with each passing day. To mould his understanding of the happenings in the world to reflect the truth, turn it to his advantage and make him feel and ultimately believe with all his heart: عجبا لأمر المؤمن إنّ أمره كله له خير; “How wonderful is the matter of a believer, surely all of his matters are good for him”— that will be an ultimate success. Allahumma, do not deprive us of it.
دار محمد Daar Muhammed 
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