How easy it is to appreciate a child’s ideas, make space for them, and acknowledge their feelings. What a privilege it is to be in their pure presence, be a recipient of their love, and be their go-to for assistance. It is easy indeed to love a child.
What then makes a little being, eager for attachment and the warmth of its caregivers, “difficult to love” in dysfunctional family systems? Clean fitrah, a mind full of adventure, and truthfulness unrestrained. Endless giggles and an abundance of free, pure love. What makes such a dynamic being a “pain”? An obstruction and a burden?
What is wrong with some of mankind that he fails to love his young? What has become of some of them that ganging up against a child is deemed acceptable and sometimes even… just amusing? Is it the purity or the joy of the young one that stands in such contrast to the conflicted and gloomy soul of the adult before them?
I remember beginning to read and understand the verses of inheritance in class more than a decade ago. I think it was my third or fourth year, and the mufassir of the verse commented saying that Allah, in His Mercy, advises a parent on how to be with their child! That was a wonderful comment. But I moved on quickly because there was a lot to cover. Until the thought revisited me tonight. Along with the clear rules governing material wealth distribution is also a clear underpin of how the younger believers amongst us ought to be treated.
The verses, ahadith, and the magnificent seerah of the Prophet ﷺ, all reflect on the vulnerability of children and the obligation to protect them from harm. This puts on immediate check: the harm caused when a caregiver’s internal battles spill onto those entrusted to their care. All of this point to the innocence of the child: their sinlessness, their natural disposition toward iman (faith), and their inherent receptivity to goodness.
This spirit from the Prophet’s sunnah took hold in the heart of every believer. A child came to be seen as a blessing and an amanah (a trust). A societal responsibility and the light in the home. A pathway to paradise, and an embodiment of innocence. This spirit spread across the ummah and provided protection of its children across lands and generations. The teachings of the Prophet ﷺ made loving and protecting a child – anyone’s child – part of our culture, our second nature. Our eyes lighting up at the sight of a little one became reflexive.
Yet even within this widespread celebration of the young within our Deen, a painful exception or two sometimes exist: where the burden of mere existence is placed on a soul so young, confusing it, wounding it and breaking it little by little. If you were the recipient of such confusing mistreatment, I hope this piece and the moments from the Prophet ﷺ I’m attaching here help you understand a timeless truth: It is easy to love a child, just as it was easy to love little you, through and through.
Under the Shade of Islam
Islam consolidated this love and made it part of its fabric. The life of the Prophet ﷺ embodied the ease of loving a child.
He lived it and not merely instructed it. In his prayer, on the streets, in his home, in his instructions, and in his thoughts. The innocence and wonder of the child. He is not of us who does not show mercy to our young, the Prophet ﷺ said (Thirmithi). On seeing him kissing his grandchild Hasan, the Bedouin present said, I have ten children but not kissed a single child of them to which the Prophet ﷺ replied: “Whoever does not show mercy will not be shown mercy” (Bukhari and Muslim). In another narration also reported by Bukhari and Muslim, a bedouin asked the Prophet ﷺ: “Do you kiss your children?”, to which the Prophet ﷺ replied: “Yes”. The bedouin said: “But we, by Allah, do not do so”. The Prophet ﷺ replied: “What can I do if Allah has removed the mercy from your hearts?”
The masculinity and strength, the honour he held and respect, all suited, all aligned to love and be gentle on a child. Emotional distance, harshness, or keeping children at arm’s length out of fear of “spoiling” them was not his way. He included them in places of prayer, knowledge, and daily life, making them feel part and parcel; a solid sense of belonging even before they could articulate it. Gently steering them to the Right Path in ways they never could forget. He greeted them, acknowledged their presence with dignity, inquired about their pets and their world, and delighted in their presence. A pure heart, enjoying pure hearts.
The Prophet ﷺ loved children deeply, sincerely, through and through. Whoever seeks to follow his path, should do as he did. ﷺ.
And those who think and act contrary to his way, then about them, there is little left to say. Those who hurt children willfully or neglect those young souls under their care or feel ease in their pain, unmistakably, their state is one of profound loss. Their distance is not from children alone but from the Prophetic way itself.
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